The New Normal
I was 13 when I first heard the word “underachiever.” Mrs. Adams, my ninth grade English teacher, used it to describe a student who had, in her opinion, failed to work to his potential. The student? Yours truly.
“Mr. Daniels,” she announced to the class, “is the classic example of an underachiever. He doesn’t complete his work assignments. He shows up late for class and then wastes his time daydreaming. As a result, he produces C work. From a child with modest potential, I would be happy with mediocre results. In his case, I am very disappointed.”
I was not surprised at the assessment. It was accurate. I couldn’t deny it. The female maturation process held my interest at that time. That and football. And goofing around with my friends. And just about anything else but schoolwork.
I wasn’t a good reader. And I couldn’t sit still during class. Much later I discovered that I was suffering from a combination of dyslexia and what is now called “attention deficit disorder.” But neither Mrs. Adams nor I knew about such things then. As far as she was concerned, I was a perennial slacker. I shared her opinion.
At least once a year, however, I promised myself that I would “turn over a new leaf.” I sensed, as Mrs. Adams did, that I was not as dumb as my grades suggested. And I felt, deep down in my bones, that eventually I’d make a success of myself.
But before I could be successful, I had to change something very fundamental about myself. And that change began at the end of my senior year when I woke up one day and realized I was disgusted with myself.
I was tired of being the perennial screw-up. I was sick of getting lousy grades and playing the fool in class. I wanted to become the person Mrs. Adams thought I should be. But it seemed to be too late. There was only a month to go before graduation, and it was obviously impossible to rectify four years of poor performance in so short a time.
Since my grades were mediocre, I had no chance of getting a University scholarship. And since my parents couldn’t afford to help me with tuition, I had no choice but to attend a local community college. The community college was happy to take my $650 a year, and would be equally happy to give me the Cs I had been earning in high school. But I wasn’t willing to live that life any longer.
I realized that, oddly enough, my lack of success was a benefit in disguise. I was about to put myself in an academic environment where mediocrity held sway – where I would be competing with other high school screw-ups just like me.
What if I used the remaining time I had in high school to prepare for a new and better life in college? What if I directed my energy toward developing skills and habits that would help me succeed over the next four years?
And that’s exactly what I did. The Saturday after I made my big decision to change, I drove my ‘74 Toyota Corolla to Border College in East London, South Africa. I gathered together everything I could about the college and the curriculum I was going to be involved in. I brought it all back home with me and spent the rest of the weekend carefully reading every pamphlet and brochure.
I was doing something I had never done in school: getting ahead of my competition by planning my success. In the next few weeks, I became a minor expert in that little college. I knew every course they offered, every major they offered, and every teacher who’d be teaching freshmen that year.
Taking the initiative to plan my success gave me a very positive feeling. I could actually feel myself changing. I was becoming – even before I began – a serious and committed student.
I realized that I would be starting college as a brand-new person. None of my teachers would have heard about my high school antics, and none of my fellow students would be expecting me to be the class clown.
Starting college without the bad reputation I had established in high school was like a gift from the academic gods. I could walk into my new classes as an interested, enthusiastic student who was there to succeed.
And that’s what happened. I showed up for classes in January on time, prepared with the required texts. I sat in the front row and raised my hand whenever the lecturer asked questions. I did my homework assignments and spent my spare time studying. Between attending classes, studying, and running a house painting business on the side, I worked 16 hours a day, seven days a week.
By the end of the first semester, I had the reputation of being an A student. Throughout the rest of my college and graduate school career, I never retrenched.
I sometimes think about what would have happened to me if I hadn’t finally become disgusted with myself. Or if I had failed to make those preparations that allowed me to turn over a new leaf.
It’s highly likely I would be grinding out a living somewhere, working a job I didn’t like, struggling to pay my bills and making futile resolutions – knowing I’d live out my life as a habitual underachiever.
The difference for me was the simple realization that if I didn’t change myself, my life wouldn’t change – not then or ever. I had wasted my high school years making promises I never truly meant to keep. But I was tired of doing that.
Thinking back, I can see that there were several factors that allowed me to change in a serious and committed way:
• First, I had bottomed out emotionally. I had finally reached a point where I truly detested myself for not achieving what I felt was my potential.
• Second, I made a decision to change completely – to go from being a C student to the top of my class.
• Third, I recognized that I would have to change not just my work habits but the way I thought about myself. I would have to “become” the A student I wanted to be.
• And last, but not least, I took action immediately. I didn’t wait till January to make the change. I started right away by preparing myself to succeed during my final months of high school.
Have you made resolutions that you’ve failed to keep? Held dreams of success and happiness that you’ve failed to fulfill? Do you sometimes feel that, however much you’ve done, you are still, in part, an underachiever?
If so, there is good news. Your past behavior has no bearing on your future work habits. If you can change the way you work – even just a little – you can change the way you live.
Most people reading this will think, “I don’t need another motivational speech. What I need is a change of luck.”
I’m here to say that luck had nothing to do with the change in my life. And it needn’t have anything to do with whatever changes you would like to make in yours. Had I waited for luck to come to me, I might be waiting still. My life changed when I got fed up and started planning my success.
You, too, can change your life if you are :
1. dissatisfied with the lack of success you’ve had so far
2. willing to make a big change – and not just a minor adjustment
3. prepared to start working differently and thinking about yourself as a different kind of person
4. willing to start now by preparing yourself to succeed
It is now many, many years later since those days. However, my current circumstances makes it feel all too familiar. It is now the fourth month of a Covid-19 lock-down/quarantine period and just about everything grinded to a halt. The economy is slowly firing back up and i managed to land my first consulting contract . It is blasting off on the first of next month.
Are you ready to get going? Me too. Why don’t you join me.
In my next posts i will talk a bit more on what I focussed my attention on.